Spesial

i'm special.

the reason why - i love dreaming more than sleeping, more than living the last night's world. i'd give away the pleasure of sleeping, but not the sweet tinge of dreaming.

i think there's something wrong with my brain - perhaps a burst of blood vessels near the frontal lobe due to excessive smoking when having tons of coffee with my lifelong friends in my hometown the ever lovely, ever droopy Alor Setar.

when i'm asleep, i'm still thinking - like i'm wide awake. i'd capture all the experiences, all the existence inside the membrane of the fragile dreamy wonders - ever so often it fades when i opened my eyes, or accidentally woke up hearing my horrible snores travelling through the room, bouncing off the walls.

have you ever wonder?..how sweet the songs you heard in your dreams..how you can follow the words, sing it by heart, know its title, recognize the singer's voice, their names - then it fades like cigarette smokes at the coffee shop, swirling up the high ceiling. you remembered nothing - not a single word, not a strands of notes. your brain pulls down the curtain - the show's over.

i can't remember the songs, not even the music. perhaps i'm just like you. perhaps i'm not that special at all.

at least i realize this is happening.

next time you're dreaming, enjoy the songs, the music - maybe you won't hear it again..ever.